I remember a time when I was really young where I wasn’t thinking about the form of my body. I simply was. I had fun, build houses, drew constantly - and on everything :)
I didn’t think about the form of my body or how it could be perceived. But quite suddenly there was a shift. I remember that my parents started to tell me to eat less or skip the dessert. I remember classmates mocking me for my chubbiness. And I remember starting to compare my body to other bodies that I saw around me, in magazines and on TV.
Suddenly from the funny quirky openminded child, I started to grow into an insecure woman who was constantly on a diet and didn’t believe that she could be loved.
For years I struggled with the idea that my body is just as it is. I went from diet to diet. Did everything in my power to hide away the rolls. I grew into a character that had to shine through other features life being funny or a workaholic because being me was simply not enough.
One day I decided that it was enough. I decided that beating myself up over my own body. Torturing and starving it just to fit into a societal box was not something that I could continue to do without my mental health breaking down.
But of course, it wasn’t that simple. I started reading books and watching other amazing plus size women rock the internet. I started dealing with my childhood trauma by looking at how these seeds of thought where placed into my mind, to begin with. One of the major steps was that I threw away my scale. There is no need to know how much I weight. I started doing yoga to feel my body instead of only seeing it.
And most importantly I started drawing every day.
I started drawing beautiful big women. I drew their strength, their power. I placed the words on top of them that were showing their fight and every art piece I created gave me more and more self-confidence to be like that character in that drawing.
With all these tools I started accepting myself more and more and I believe you can too! And btw you don’t need to have super amazing drawing skills. Simply go to my website and download the coloring sheet you just saw as a first step to accept your own body.
Thank you for reading.
As always I would love to hear about your journey. Simply comment below.